Squat Advisor

Long-term wild camping enthusiasts, recently we’ve discovered the art of squatting. In certain special conditions, when using your tent is impossible (urban areas, once in a decade storms, absence of flat terrain…) squatting is the solution. To do so, you still need to find the perfect place.

What is Squat Advisor?

Everyone knows Trip Advisor, the reference for many tourists. Restaurants, bars, hotels, monuments, natural curiosities and others are all described, noted and photographed by Internet users wanting to share their experience with us ordinary mortals, making sure every one goes to the same place. It’s the desire to bring something new to the travelling websites that we had the idea fo Squat Advisor. What is it exactly? Well, if you want to get off the beaten track, go for a night in a sheltered place where no one else sets foot, we can help you. It is true that if all those who read this article decide to go to these incredible places selected for you, it misses the point. For this reason, we will only specify the name and exact location of the selected site to those of you sending us, by e-mail, an enthusiastic and reasoned request describing their project. An arrangement can then be found (and our compensation duly negotiated).


In Germany, cemeteries are a safe bet

When to go?
In winter, in extreme climatic conditions (torrential rains, snowstorms…) and only as a last resort. Avoid at all costs Saturday evenings, Sundays being busy days.

 

Amenities
Running water, sometimes electricity, entertaining chorus of bells every 15 minutes (don’t count on a good night of sleep, the priority here is staying dry, people).


Helpful Hints
Your presence may be misunderstood. Keep a low profile, do not brush your teeth just anywhere and leave at dawn.
Try to find a stadium (Sport Platz) in the vicinity. The amenities are often the same but the atmosphere is palpably lighter and quieter.

What we thought:
Comfort         2/5
Cleanliness    4/5
Accessibility  5/5
Tranquility    0/5
View               0/5


In Austria, discover the luxury of squatting fisherman’s huts and THE fish

When to go?
In winter, when everything is frozen and fishing season is off. Avoid Thursday nights all the same, it’s card night.

Amenities
Running water (from the river or lake if it is not frozen, to filter), occasional electricity, benches, table.

Helpful Hints
Since the environment is frequently sub-zero, think of sleeping with a bottle of water inside your sleeping bag to not be deprived of coffee in the morning.
What we thought:
Comfort         3/5
Cleanliness    4/5
Accessibility  4/5
Tranquility    4/5
View               4/5


In Croatia, abandoned hotels are on every corner

When to go?
In winter, when It’s hailing, snowing and the borja wind blows at 200km/h…

Amenities
Nothing but the simple pleasure of walls and windows whilst the biggest storm of the last ten years rages outside for several days.

Helpful Hints
Feel free to explore all the floors before choosing your room. The hardest to find being the least ransacked.
Come equipped with a brush and plastic gloves. Clean and collect garbage left by your predecessors(who unfortunately did not appreciate the usefulness of the place and left it a mess).
Asthmatic, allergic to dust or easily frightened by the noise of slamming doors at 4am? Try to find another squat or deal with it patiently …

What we thought:
Comfort         3/5
Cleanliness    1/5
Accessibility  4/5
Tranquility    4/5
View               5/5

Want a cleaner squatting experience? Closer to the nature? Beach bars don’t usually run in winter and are a very good option if you are on a touristy coast. If you still can’t find anything, think like your ancestors and experience cave life.


In Montenegro, let yourself be seduced by the old stones

When to go?
In winter, when it begins to rain, the sun goes down and you have traveled only 5 of the 20 kilometres of hairpin up to the pass.

Amenities
Two basic rooms that have now been swept up with a roof but no windows.

For water, there is a small well. It’s up to you to engineer a system to catch a few litres.
If you are cold, there is a perfect corner for fire and wood in the garden.

Helpful Hints
A brush and a machete are two tools that will ease your installation.
Do not forget your camera, the sunset being incredible from the terrace.

 

What we thought:
Comfort          2/5
Cleanliness     2/5
Accessibility   4/5
Tranquility     4/5
View                5/5


In Greece, enjoy an incredible seaside holiday

Spring has arrived, sunny days are on. Feeling like squatting outside? Exclusive novelty from Squat Advisor, the abandoned nightclub!

When to go?
Between the end of February and early April. Good time to enjoy the first heat for sun/sea bathing (and climbing if you’re keen) without suffering from the crowds of the high season.

Amenities
Entirely cleaned and refurbished covered kitchen. We embellished the work top with tiles making it a breeze to clean. Now features a window wind-break to cook even in strong winds, an improvised bench and 3 washing lines. You’ll enjoy 5 sea view terraces looking out to T******s Island. We recommend you sleep under the stars. However if the weather was to turn bad, you could choose between the DJ booth on the second floor or perhaps the covered stage on the fourth terrace. Camping near the kitchen is also an option. Impressive cliffs equipped for climbing are accessible by a 15 minutes walk.

Helpful hints
You will find a cloth to clean the mirrors in the first closet on your left.
Don’t forget to bring your stove, unfortunately we were unable to leave ours.
For toilet, a bucket is hidden behind the stairs. Remember to empty it responsibly once a day.

What we thought:
Comfort         4/5
Cleanliness    4/5
Accessibility  5/5
Tranquility    4/5
View               5/5

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